Medusa’s Curse: Surviving Sexual Assault

Seven years ago, I lay in the Children’s Hospital, nurses holding my hands as his DNA was collected from my body. June ninth, two-thousand and twenty-six. This is the date I have had in my head since I saw the quote “Every 7 years, the cells in your entire body will be destroyed and replaced with new cells. One day you will have a body he has never touched” not long after my assault. I thought, if I can just make it 7 years, if I can survive 7 years then I will feel freedom from his violence. 

 My story, while devastating, is neither rare nor exceptional. Statistics say, 1 in 5 women have experienced sexual abuse since the age of 15. 1 in 4 Australians have experienced child sexual abuse, with females twice as likely. 

Each day Australian police record 88 sexual assault cases (2022). The disturbing truth; 87% of victims do not report their assaults. With each passing year, police-recorded assaults increase by 11%.  

At just thirteen, I sat before my defendant's — female — lawyer, asked the questions every victim knows all too well; “But, what were you wearing?”, “Did you lead him on into believing you wanted this?”, “Were you intoxicated?”. Like the clothes one wears determines the victim's fault for their own assault. Fewer than 10% of recorded cases result in criminal conviction. 

“No” means no. “Stop” means no. “I’m not sure” means no. “I’m tired” means no. “I’m not ready” means no. “I don’t know” means no. No does not mean “convince me”. If it’s not a yes, it’s not consent. 

There is a feeling of isolation that comes after assault. A fear that no one will believe you. A worry of judgement, and thought that it “wasn’t bad enough to count”. Every rape is rape and it wasn’t your fault. 

• It wasn’t your fault if you were drunk. 

• It wasn’t your fault if you got yourself into a risky situation. 

• Your clothes do not imply consent. 

• Flirting does not imply consent. 

• Being in a relationship does not imply consent. 

Your assault is still valid, even if you haven’t told anyone. Even if you think others have had it worse. If you were a child. If you were gaslit into believing it did not happen. It was not your fault. Speaking up takes courage. I am also yet to find the courage to speak of some things I have experienced throughout my life. 

The average age of cells in the body is 7-10 years although 1% of our body’s cells are replaced every single day. So, while the quote I read may not be a biologically correct statement, they are the words that gave me hope, gave me strength, strength to fight to live in a body he has never touched. 

Through years of therapy, I have found some measure of peace though, like many others in my situation, the feeling of “dirtiness” is one that still prevails. Even after seven years there are days I take multiple showers and scrub my skin raw in order to feel “clean”. 

The aftermath and trauma of assault is something anyone who hasn’t experienced it will never understand. If I was to try to explain it, the example I would use is Medusa. The myth of Medusa — a symbol of strength for sexual assault survivors — goes as such; In Minerva’s temple, Medusa is assaulted by Neptune. As punishment for defiling her temple, Minerva curses Medusa transforming her hair into snakes, and her face a terrifying visage, one look capable of turning a man to stone.

Medusa’s curse was a weapon of defence. Unable to look at another or be gazed upon, her stare of stone acted as protection against predatory men. She lived in a state of fight — the reality of many burdened by this trauma. But, we must not forget, Medusa is a survivor and so are we. To some people, the image of Medusa, tattooed in ink on their skin, is a symbol of strength, survival, and female empowerment. It serves as a reminder of their resilience. 

Society silences us as they fear the power we have when we are truly free. Labelled a liar and told we have ruined our perpetrators life, their opinion does not change our truth.  

You are allowed to tell your story, You are allowed to speak your truth. You did not ruin that man's life. You are the victim. You are the survivor. Another's actions are not your responsibility. They made that choice and they deserve to reap the consequences. 

I once believed my life was over and that I wouldn’t make it to my 16th birthday. I turn 21 next month. Once a year I believed I would not see, sixteen was the age I began to heal. 

Three years after my assault, I began working for myself. A year later I started a business, moved out of home and interstate alone, experienced career opportunities I forever dreamt of, and finally felt a sense of peace in my heart and soul. 

Your life is not over. You are not damaged. You are not dirty. You are not incapable of being loved. You have survived, and I believe that makes you stronger than others.

As a young teenager, I survived emotions most adults have never endured. 

My trauma does not define me but it has shaped me into the person I am today. One with a fearless mindset, motivation, determination, empathy, understanding, and strength. 

If you have experienced sexual violence, support and resources are available.

• Call 1800RESPECT available for free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

• Text 0458 737 732

• Chat online or video call via https://1800respect.org.au/

• Visit https://www.nsw.gov.au/departments-and-agencies/victims-services for victims services throughout NSW including:

  • Financial Support

  • Counselling Services (Including free counselling services)

  • Crisis Numbers and Hotlines

  • Mental Health Support

• For victims support outside of NSW visit https://www.nsw.gov.au/legal-and-justice/information-for-victims-of-crime/victims-support-and-services-outside-of-nsw

• Victims Access Line: 1800 633 063 | | Mon– Fri, 9am to 5pm (excluding public holidays)

• Aboriginal Contact Line: 1800 019 123 | Mon– Fri, 9am to 5pm (excluding public holidays)

• Email: vs@dcj.nsw.gov.au