Competence breeds confidence. If you’ve spent your life studying medicine, and suddenly you're put in a room full of philosophers — expected to give a speech on philosophy — would you be confident giving that presentation? The same goes for identity. If you don’t know who you are, how can you be confident?

I realised I was keeping my old wounds fresh for a trial that would never come — that was stealing my life more than my trauma ever did. 

A common theme online today is the pressure to conform — the idea that we must all share the same beliefs, with differing opinions always met with others' views pushed as gospel. My ideal love does not have to be yours. Each of us is entitled to our own dreams of romance. I am free to seek out my own desires, and you are free to find the kind of relationship dynamic you deem perfect in your eyes.