High Standards & Higher Heels: The Peace That Comes With A Dry Phone

I solemnly swear, from my toes to my dark blonde hair, no one has the power to paint me blue. No man and certainly not you. 

The thrill of the chase, the intoxication of a crush, and the emotional whiplash from the games. What we’ve been conditioned to believe ‘love’ feels like. The world of social media and online dating has brainwashed us into believing modern-day love can only exist like this. Love should never feel painful, and if it does, you must learn to walk away. Learn that you are deserving of healthy love and that your soulmate will calm the chaos, not create it. 

From Young Fantasies to Destiny

As a Cancer Sun, the reality of one-night stands and situationships, was never written in the stars for me — literally. I’ve forever longed for the type of love you see in old films. The silver screen, romance novel type of affection. 

A somewhat outdated concept, and controversial in the eyes of a few — the modern-day 50/50 relationship dynamic is not one I’m chasing for my future. May a man who wants to be proposed to never find me. Now, don’t take my words the wrong way, I don’t expect my partner to simply do everything for me while I give nothing, but, my life aspirations are large and a low-effort man has no place in my bed. 

Love in the Age of 2026

A common theme online today is the pressure to conform — the idea that we must all share the same beliefs, with differing opinions always met with others' views pushed as gospel. My ideal love does not have to be yours. Each of us is entitled to our own dreams of romance. I am free to seek out my own desires, and you are free to find the kind of relationship dynamic you deem perfect in your eyes. 

The only thing we need consensus on is what true love should really feel like.  

To put in the language of modern dating: being left on “delivered” while their snapscore ascends, a push & pull dynamic, situationships, and the constant stress of their activity status is not how love was ever meant to be. 

I could not be more against dating apps and social media as the way to find your soulmate. Social media and online dating has ruined the foundation that dating and relationships were built on — connection. I believe your soulmate is the person you were fated to meet. Foretold by the universe, and from the beginning of time to the very end you have and will always find each other in every lifetime. How fated can scrolling through a specifically curated, man made algorithm be? From a few simple scrolls through someone's page you know almost everything about them and, the kicker, you’ve never even met them. 

The Art of Solitude

There is a peace that comes with a dry phone. I’m selective of who I let into my circle — and men are no exception. After all, intimacy is the closest two souls will ever be. Why would I let just anyone have that kind of access to me? 

Being single with high standards is better than settling for less.

The quote, “Love should heal you,” is often said and while I believe love should heal you, why are you waiting for a person in order to heal? To be your dream woman I must first become my own. 

We perceive being alone as a bad thing, that “single and thriving” is a time to indulge in meaningless sex and impulsive decisions. And, sure, have your fun but there comes a time in your 20s to be single and live for yourself only. It is important you use that time wisely. Learn your worth, become so sure of yourself, and define your standards — remembering, you must first be able to meet them before you can expect anyone else to. You’ll soon watch everything start to fall into place, your confidence, your strength, and the realisation that a woman who isn’t afraid to stand on her own holds all of the power. 

The Couture of My Heart

I’m a Cancer and hopeless romantic with borderline personality disorder. I love in a way that would thrill a poet and concern a therapist. I love being in love but I hate being in love. If I were to pinpoint where that hatred comes from I would argue the reality of dating in an era of need for constant communication, location tracking services readily at our fingertips, and the ease to check one's activity status — but, that’s not our fault. It’s simply the way of the current world. 

While that is the nature of life we live, you must remember that you hold the reins to your own destiny. If I want an old-school kind of love, I can have an old-school kind of love. You are the creator of your own reality.

The kind of love you seek is available to you. To attain that love, be yourself, love yourself, and never waver on your standards. The right man won’t falter to meet what you desire. 

My life is so calm when it’s just me and until a man fits into that without causing chaos I'll stay by myself. After all, some souls are meant to stand alone until the right one appears. Your independence and peace is more valuable than anything a man could ever give you. The right partner will compliment your life, never take away from it.

Love, Innasya x